Monday, November 5, 2007

My Favorite Time of Year

It is true that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love that you are around your loved ones, there isn't the pressure of gift giving and it totally revolves around food. I love Thanksgiving! The weather here in AZ is always perfect this time of year. Most of my Thanksgiving dinners have been enjoyed outside in fact - it is gorgeous.

Thanksgiving is not what I am talking about however. This is my favorite time of year, not because of the good weather, the upcoming holidays or the fact that November is also National Pomegranate Month - it is because Amazing Race has started - FINALLY!

Last night was the first show of the new season, so my Monday morning ritual has begun. We typically don't watch t.v. on Sundays so my good friend Shannon tivos it and we watch it on Monday mornings. This has been our routine for the last several seasons. Sometime last season my mom came over on a Monday morning (I forgot I told her I would drive her to the Dr.) and I wasn't home. One of my neighbors drove by and said "I know where to find her" and she was right - I was at Shannons watching the race. Shannon and I have big dreams of getting in shape and one day going on the show. With each challenge we discuss how we would have done it better, how we could have located the clue faster, and who would be the driver etc... We are painfully aware of how much work we would have to do to get in shape to be able to do all of those things - but what an adventure it would be to travel the world like that.

This season there are some crazy teams - not a single married couple. Unless you count the 40ish "married" lesbian couple who are also clergy in some so-called church. There is a "goth" couple but they look more like transvestites, a father and daughter (whom I love - when they made it to the finish line he said "who's your daddy?" while doing a crazy dance), a grandfather and grandson team, two sisters, two busty blond friends, a brother and sister and a bunch of dating couples. I think some Mormon car-pooling moms are just what the show needs.

Here are seven skills I think I have that could help me on the show:

1. I know how to drive. I have even driven in crazy traffic. I think I might have a hard time with the countries that drive on the wrong side of the road but off-roading or dodging bicycles in China - I got (it can't be worse than the Jr. High car pool).

2. I can't run that fast - but I am big and I could trip or push others who try to run past me.

3. I will eat almost anything. You know how they have some kind of eating challenge on every race - I am not afraid of trying new things. Could be why I can't run fast (see #2).

4. I could bungee jump, drop out of an airplane or any of those scary stunts. As long as it is real and not simulated like that stupid California Soarin' thing at Disneyland. That makes me sick.

5. I am not a swearer. I wouldn't cuss at Shannon when we messed up. It seems like the swearers never go very far in the race.

6. I can carry a heavy backpack. I carried 60 lbs of twins for heavens sake and I carry tons of laundry up and down the stairs every day.

7. I speak a foreign language. If you have ever watched the show you know that bi-lingual people have it a little bit easier. Even in countries that speak a completely different language than the one you know, if you speak with a crazy accent someone might understand you.


Pam said...

You so totally could go on Amazing Race. Those were the best 7 reasons anyone could give. I especially like the one where you push people around. I bet you and Shannon would win because you two would be the only normal people on the show.

Kelly said...

You could eat that stuff? I haven't seen that much of it, but I watched someone eat an entire pail of crickets, and determined that I could taste some sick stuff, but I couldn't eat it in bulk.

I see you have your Jacques Pepein book on your cyber shelf: is that because the actual book is being held hostage on my REAL bookshelf?

Jenny-ology said...

Jolene, you surprise me- you would push down the people that run faster? I laughed out loud when i read these. I would love to see you two mormon SAHMs on the Amazing Race.
Unfortunately, I already missed the first episode.

One Sassy Mama said...

Jo - you would definitely have the viewers rooting for you.
I remember the good ole days of watching Amazing Race in the mornings. Did you know I would secretly watch the end of the Amazing Race the night before so I would know who lost -- I just couldn't wait! SO it was never a surprise for me. I should win an academy award for my acting abilities.