Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Of Mice and April's Fool

Last night something pretty gross happened. Let me start by saying that I got sick at church on Sunday. I had felt nauseous during Sacrament Meeting and then I threw up (in the bathroom) during the RS/Priesthood hour. I continued to barf all Sunday night and most of Monday morning. I felt better in the afternoon and decided to run to the grocery store.

About a month ago we went out riding motorcycles in the desert and got pretty muddy. I have an old pair of tennies that usually wear for such occasions and on this occasion they were so muddy I dropped them on the back porch. Saturday, Alan cleaned our windows and he threw those old tennies into the dining room floor where they remained until yesterday. Saturday night I kept asking who the stinky kid was - there was some serious stink going on.

So yesterday, before I leave to go to the grocery store, I ask one of the kids to take those tennies that have been in the dining room for two days up to my closet. I got home and they were sitting on the stairs - I reminded that child to take them all of the way up to my closet. Devon told me to smell them, I refused, he said I had to smell them because they smelled like a mixture of dog poop and sauerkraut. I reminded him that I have been sick to my stomach for two days and the last thing I need is to smell something gross. He gets all of his sisters to smell them. They all gross out. Then he decides to look inside the offensive shoe and he finds a dead mouse. A dead mouse that had been in my house for the last two days. I'm so glad he did not obey and throw those shoes in my closet - I can't imagine how gross that could have turned out.

The thing is, it wouldn't be the first time I had stuck my foot in a shoe with a dead mouse in it. When I was growing up we had to go and get our irrigation. I know this will sound funny to you non-native Arizonans but certain areas of our valley still rely on the extensive canal system first installed by early Mormon farmers to water their lawns. Usually in the back of your property you have a large valve that opens up to the city irrigation system and you are assigned a time to open and close your valve. You can only open and close during your allotted time or else your neighbors will not get their water. During the hottest months of the summer your irrigation time comes anywhere between 11pm and 4am. So you wake up and open the valve and then an hour later you wade through the water to close the valve.

Shortly after Alan and I were married - my parents asked to stay over at their house on their irrigation night because they were going to be out of town. I volunteered to wake up and do the irrigation because I had done it before and was familiar with the process. Alan, being from the Salt Lake Valley, thought it was weird. My mom kept a pair of rubber shoes (kind of like crocs now) by the back gate for doing the deed. So I woke up, walked out into the night with a flash light and slipped on those shoes to get the irrigation. Something was in the toe but it felt like balled up socks. In my mind I figured that one of my brothers had gotten the irrigation the last time, gotten the socks wet and stuck them down in the toe of the shoe. An hour later when I went to wade through the water to turn the valve off, I remembered to take the yucky socks out first. It was a dead mouse - I pointed my flash light and screamed - it went in the water. I was so freaked out that it was going to float by me that I ran the whole way there and back, shining my flashlight in a sweeping motion across the water, never mind that I had already walked the back acre and back with it right on my bare toes!! I still get so grossed out when I think about it.

So, the two day nausea led to me being able to pull of a pretty sweet practical joke. I told my husband I was pregnant. He fell for it, the kids too. And then the kids told my car pool friend who is in my ward and knew that I was throwing up. She fell for it too and called to see if she could bring me some ice cream and pickles.

For some pretty great April Fool's stories -check these out:
Dead Fairy for sale on E-bay
Taco Bell Corp. buys the Liberty Bell
Trick your husband into thinking you have accidentally removed all computer software
Read a whole bunch more here!

Happy April Fool's day everyone! I'm off to Saran Wrap the kid's toilet!


deana said...

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about me Jolene. I am sometimes refered to as "The Rat Slayer". I would expound, but some people can't handle it. If you have anymore problems with this, you know who to call.

Pam said...

Hey sickolicious in both the barfy and mousy way. How in the world ....a mouse in the shoe...not once but twice. You have the best luck. hee hee!
I think you get the prize for the best work up to pull off an April fools prank. Getting sick and all - that's classic.

One Sassy Mama said...

Yuck! That is bad! At least they were dead.

When we first moved to UT we had a in-the-house mouse problem. I finally got rid of them with a combo of Jr mints and glue traps (I went into IFA, bought two sacks full of various mice killing items for under $8--what a deal). After the mice were gone, I bought some supersonic mouse screamers and I haven't had an in-house problem since (still get them in the garage though--love the bait bars--they munch on the bar and then seek out water--they always die right in front of my outside fridge).

I know I'm morbid. But I have a great love for dead mice (as opposed to live ones) - their much easier to get rid of.

Jenny-ology said...

Oh no. that is so disgusting! I wouldn't have survived it, I am sure!
Sorry you were so sick, but that is hilarious that you told everyone you were pregnant.
2 weeks before Megan was born, it was april fool's day and the only chance in my lifetime that I could convincingly tell Darin that I was in labor. I called him at work and told him and they had flown software experts in from CA that day to teach them the new sftwr. I could hear them in the background begging and pleading- not today- anyday but today.
When I had him good and panicked, I let him off the hook.

It wouldn't have worked this time because I was only 30 weeks and I would have been in an ambulance if I was in labor.